I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
