I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
