I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
