It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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