Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
