I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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