my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
two words: eviction party
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
