I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
