Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
