just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
