Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
