I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish i was in the wii world.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
