I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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