keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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