I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
