you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
