she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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