3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
