please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
