she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
