After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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