there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
