I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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