Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
