I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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