oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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