I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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