Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
All I want is dick and wine.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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