Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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