they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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