Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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