is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
