Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
