I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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