I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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