I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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