whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
