Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
