I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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