I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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