tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
