If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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