You can't special order awesome
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
