Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
