He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
