i just wanna soil my oats bro
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
