I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
