yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Your mouth is God's brothel.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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