i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
