he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
